Friday, December 24, 2010

SUDDENLY YOURS-Allstar Weekend

Suddenly Yours-
Allstar Weekend
Label-Hollywood Records
1st Studio Album
Status-Out as of 2010
Rating-.5 feathers

Based in California, and gaining popularity by way of the Disney Channel, Allstar Weekend has released their debut called “Suddenly Yours”. But don’t let the boy-band looks, the fact that they don’t write their own songs, and the Abercrombie wannabe photo spread fool you: They are a lot worse than they appear!

If you love the idea of Boys Like Girls and Owl City fed into a grinder and extruded through the Disney Channel boy-band machine, then you’ll love Allstar Weekend. I, however, largely despise everything to do with that concept. The songs on “Suddenly Yours” progress from worse to ear-bleedingly horrible. The first few seconds of the album are ok, with passable synthesizers. But all turns to loathsome awful once you hear the singer’s voice and the other instruments. Everything sounds over-processed and synthesized; nothing sounds organic or like they sat down with the instruments and actually made up an arrangement on their own. Coupled with generic melodies, the lyrics are quite possibly the most vapid I have ever read. I cannot help but be inspired by lines like “get on your way/that kinda sucks,/wish you could stay” or the oh-so-motivating “Save my friends so they don’t/get hurt/get the mustard stain off my favorite shirt”. They are all simply vile pop songs with virtually no musicality requiring no apparent musical talent to make. Disney Channel fans will be in their glory.

I hope I never have to listen to “Suddenly Yours” again. They are an appalling excuse for “music”, and in regards to their own words “I’ll rock out/like Nirvana now/Be timeless like Madonna”, Kurt Cobain is rolling in his grave.

Video for Dance Forever

Recommendations: None
Well, that was a horrific experience. Just don't listen to them. Really. Don't. The next review I will have out is The Age of Adz by Sufjan Stevens. Now that's what I call music.

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